Be My Valentine
by lemonsensei
Summary: Valentine's Day has arrived and love is in the air for the Sohma's... especially two of the youthful teens! HaruKyo. Lemon... Warning: minor language, Chapter 4 contains mild bondage, Chapter 5 contains underage drinking and threesomes.
1. Fangirl Frenzy

This if my first fanfiction, so don't get too mad if it's really bad. Please read and review! Thanks ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket... sigh.

**Chapter One**

"Happy Valentine's Day!" Tohru happily sang, running up to Kyo and giving him a box of chocolate.

"It's… Valentine's Day?" Kyo asked. Sweatdrop.

"Yes, silly, you didn't forget again, did you?" Tohru asked, still obnoxiously happy.

"WHY THE HELL SHOULD I BOTHER MYSELF WITH SUCH TRIVIAL FACTS AS THE DATE!" Kyo grumbled angrily.

"Because… Valentine's Day is full of happiness and delight!" Tohru smiled, tears of joy spilling from her brown eyes.

"And also because Valentine's Day is a day to be feared for the members of the zodiac," Yuki mentioned dully, appearing somewhat out of nowhere.

"Yuki-kun!" one of Prince Yuki's many fangirls cried from just down the hall.

"Goodbye, Miss Honda," Yuki smiled half heartedly, sprinting down the hallway and disappearing around the corner.

"Yuki-kun? Yuki-kun! WAIT!" the fangirl shrieked, pathetically and rabidly chasing Yuki.

"What's so special about the stupid rat, huh? Why do so many girls chase after that selfish, weak…" Kyo began his usual tirade before he was interrupted by the arrival of a mob of a more fangirls.

"Yuki's that way if you're looking for…" Kyo started to say, absentmindedly pointing down the hall.

"KYO-KUN!" the girls shrieked in unison, cutting him off.

"W…what!" Kyo gasped.

"I love you sooo much!" one random fangirl shrieked, fainting on the spot. She was run over by the many other fangirls on their rampage to reach their beloved orange haired sweetheart. Aah, the life of the fangirl.

"N-no! Stop! Get away! Gack!" Kyo shrieked, akin to the screaming of the many high school girls, and ran down the hallway.

"Where's Kyo off to in such a hurry?" Haru asked monotonously, appearing behind Tohru.

"H-hatsuharu-san!" Tohru smiled. "Happy Valen…"

"That's nice," Haru said, patting Tohru absentmindedly on the head and walking off down the hall.

"Kyo… Kyo, accept my chocolates!" the fangirls cried. "I love you! Be mine!" Kyo was completely surrounded by the screaming girls and his numerous attempts to bat them off proved fruitless as they seemed to multiply before his eyes.

"Haru!" Kyo cried for help upon seeing the teen slowly trudge up the hall, staring up at the ceiling. "HELP!"

Looking down, the usually placid ox suddenly noticed his kitten being drowned in a sea of girls.

"Back off from my Kyo!" a now black Haru called, enraged. Unfortunately, the spirits of the girls could not be dampened by a simple threat, and Kyo was in as much trouble as ever.

"Wait, Kyo, don't try to run now!" the girls shrieked as Kyo had finally managed to remove all his limbs from the clingy girls and hurtle down the hall at top speed.

Halfway down the hall, however, another cry of the fangirls could be heard. "Where did he go?"

'Oh God, none of them hugged… he didn't… he couldn't… transform?' Haru thought, worried.

"I'm coming, Kyo!" Haru cried, charging down the hall and shoving every girl away who blocked his path. Suddenly, however, he felt two strong hands drag him into an empty classroom…

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Well that's the end of the first chapter... I hoped you liked it. I'll try to get the next chapter up soon... I promise it'll have a lemon! Yum. Okay, so please review to tell me what I'm doing wrong. Bye!


	2. Classroom Craziness

Thank you to all who reviewed... it motivated me to continue writing! YAY! ;)

Yay, my second chappie! Hope you enjoy… there's a lemony surprise…

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, nor do I own Kyo and his ass. Though I wish I did.

**Chapter Two**

"Kyo!" Haru cried with delight, his former black self obviously gone.

"Yeah, yeah," Kyo sighed, running a hand through his orange hair and sitting on a table.

"I thought you'd transformed!" Haru continued, throwing his arms around his secret lover's neck and burying his worried face in the cat's hair.

"Ungh… Har, could you just tell me when the girls are all gone?" Kyo asked, gently removing Haru.

"B-but, it's Valentine's Day!" Haru wailed.

"Exactly, those girls are insane!" Kyo pointed out.

"B-but, it's a day for lovers!" Haru went on, thinking his point couldn't be more obvious.

Kyo frowned at Haru, scratching his head. Haru rolled his eyes and made the wonderfully universal symbol for man sex. (A/N: man sex good) A light bulb appeared out of thin air above Kyo's head and quickly turned on. His eyes widened in horror.

"Ha-Haru, not at school! We can't!" Kyo gasped, face matching his crimson eyes, as Haru smiled, slowly walking up to his kitten.

"Oh, we'll find a way," Haru whispered into Kyo's ear. Haru's hot breath on his skin sent a shiver down Kyo's spine. Haru placed one hand on Kyo's hip, holding him down, and wrapped the other arm possessively around Kyo's waist.

"What if someone walks in?" Kyo asked, fear and lust mingled in his eyes.

"It'll be good for them, they can learn a few things," Haru smiled.

"But…" Kyo tried to protest, but Haru silenced him with a kiss, crushing Kyo's lips with his own and then slowly tracing them with his tongue. Kyo willingly parted his lips for Haru, allowing Haru to explore Kyo's mouth. Kyo brought his hands around Haru's hips and spread open his legs, bringing Haru in close to him and allowing their growing erections to softly brush against each other. Haru moaned with longing into Kyo, the vibration brushing against the roof of Kyo's mouth.

'A little sex never hurt anyone…' Kyo thought, running his hands up Haru's back, under his white shirt.

'Sex, sex, sex…' Haru thought, grabbing his kitten's tight ass. He removed his tongue from Kyo's mouth and began rubbing it up Kyo's jaw and toward his ear, where he bit gently on the earlobe and lined the back of Kyo's ear with his tongue.

"Oh God, Haru," Kyo moaned, digging his nails into Haru's back. Haru knew from experience that, just like the cat, Kyo loved to have his ears touched.

Haru continued his trail down the side of Kyo's neck, to the collarbone, and across the chest. He grabbed Kyo's arms and slowly undid the buttons on Kyo's shirt with his teeth, teasing Kyo's sensitive skin with his white hair. Once Kyo's shirt was discarded on the floor, Haru continued slowly licking Kyo's chest as he ran his fingers idly down Kyo's sides. His tongue traced his boyfriend's well defined abs, making its way closer and closer to the part Kyo wanted Haru to reach the most.

He finally reached Kyo's black pants and looked up at Kyo, a devilish smirk on his face. Kyo was looking back down at Haru, panting and moaning, a silent plea in his eyes.

"I'm bored now," Haru smiled slowly, beginning to stand up and ignoring his throbbing member.

"But…but Haru!" Kyo cried. "You can't just do this to me and leave! Fuck, Haru, get back!" Kyo hated begging for Haru, which just made Haru love to watch Kyo squirm and plead all the more.

Haru began to walk to the door. "I'm tired, I think I'm going to go find Yuki…" he said, stopping and turning his head around to look at his panting kitten. "I think we're going to start a little something-something, you know…"

Kyo's red eyes suddenly flashed… even redder… as his jealousy quickly overcame him.

"What!" he cried, jumping off the table. "No, Haru, please, come back! Don't go fucking Yuki, he's not worth it!"

"Prove it," Haru said, turning to face his half-naked lover. Kyo, realizing what he was saying, began to blush, but quickly quelled his embarrassment.

"I can do so much more for you," Kyo smiled, his voice lowered. He draped one arm on Haru's shoulder and the other around his waist, pulling the two together. "So much more." Haru leaned in to kiss Kyo, gently pushing him to the ground and straddling the older teen, never breaking their kiss. He quickly tore off his shirt, rolling his hips over Kyo's, moaning.

(A/N: for the full lemon, because we all know how much you want it despite the fact that it's banned from this website... sigh... leave me comment with your e-mail address!)

"Haru, yes! God yes!" (Kyo was very loud during sex, which was no surprise considering how much he yelled on a regular basis.)

Meanwhile…

Tohru had been merrily skipping along, looking for Yuki. In his fury to escape the fan girl, Tohru had not had time to give him chocolate. What a shame…

"Good morning, Miss Honda," came an eerie and cool voice behind her. Tohru turned around, and when she saw the slim figure of Akito stroll toward her, she let out a shriek.

"H-hello, S-sohma-san…" Tohru gasped, contemplating running right then and there.

"I take it you don't know where Yuki is?" Akito asked, continuing to walk towards the frozen Tohru.

"No, actually, I was just…" Tohru began to say.

"No, I didn't assume a stupid girl such as yourself would have any useful information," Akito sneered, walking on.

"H-happy Valentine's Day!" Tohru managed to cry as Akito brushed by her.

"Excuse me?" Akito asked, turning around to face Tohru, who was blushing madly.

"I-I said, Happy Valentine's Day!" Tohru bravely trembled.

Akito narrowed his eyes at Tohru. "Please refrain from speaking to me ever again. Your presence bothers me."

"I-I'm sorry," Tohru gasped looking down.

"You…" Akito began to say, but his insult was cut off by a loud scream coming from the classroom the two were standing in front of.

"What was that?" Tohru gasped, whirling around to face the seemingly empty room.

'It sounded like whoever it was said… _Haru_,' Akito thought. 'No… it couldn't be. But you never know…'

"Miss Honda, please wait outside," Akito said, glaring at Tohru. He turned to the door and began rattling the knob, but it was locked. Turning around, he said, "Miss Honda, please fetch a set of keys from the janitor."

Back with Haru and Kyo…

Just as Kyo began stroking Haru's hair, Haru's head buried in Kyo's sweaty chest, a rattling of the doorknob was heard before either teen had a chance to get dressed.

"Did you hear something?" he exclaimed, sitting up quickly. Haru rolled off of Kyo, painfully and quickly removing himself from Kyo. "God damn it, Har!" Kyo cried, pouting.

"Aw, you look so cute when you pout," Haru smiled, crawling back towards Kyo. He captured Kyo's curled lips with his own and sat in Kyo's lap.

"Har, no, someone's trying to get in," Kyo mumbled against the ox's lips.

Haru sighed, but slowly got off Kyo, mumbling, "Fine." They were putting on their clothes, when they heard a jingle of keys outside the door.

"Shit!" Kyo exclaimed. Kyo and Haru fumbled momentarily, dashing about the room, running into each other as they looked for somewhere to hide. Finally, they settled on an empty cupboard. Carefully, the cousins clad in nothing but boxer shorts shoved themselves in the closet and shut the door, holding their breath as someone entered the room.

"Ah!" Tohru cried. "No one's here."

"It's wonderful to know that you are at least capable of stating the obvious," Akito sneered. He was sure he had heard something…

"Well, do you need help finding Yuki?" Tohru offered.

"I don't want help from _you_," Akito said, giving Tohru a cold glance.

"How about Kyo?" Tohru continued, oblivious to Akito's obvious hatred towards her.

"Why would I want to see that monster?" Akito asked, utterly appalled. "I just want to see Yuki, but I don't know where he could be…"

"It'll be okay," Tohru smiled, giving Akito's hand a reassuring squeeze. "But I still think you should talk to Kyo…"

"Please refrain from touching me," Akito said, removing his hand from Tohru's grasp and wiping it on his super tight black pants.

"Oh, I… I just…" Tohru mumbled.

"Don't mumble as if it's endearing," Akito reprimanded.

"But…" Tohru continued.

"Shut up, stupid girl!" Akito cried, slapping Tohru harshly across the cheek. Tohru fell to the floor, her hand caressing her stinging cheek, tears filling her eyes. Tsk, tsk, must keep fighting, Tohru, says mom!

"But, you know, Kyo…" Tohru wailed in desperation, futilely trying to get Akito to appreciate Kyo.

"Don't cower behind your boyfriend," Akito snorted.

"Boyfriend?" Haru asked from inside the cupboard.

"He doesn't know what he's talking about," Kyo tried to explain, but it was too late… Haru had turned black.

"Boyfriend!" he cried, breaking down the cupboard and stalking towards a terribly confused Tohru. "Come here, girl, let's see who the kitten really loves." (For a teenager in boxers with hearts on them, black Haru could be very scary…)

"Bring it on, bitch!" Akito snarled, shoving Tohru out of the way, thinking Haru's comment was directed at him. (Odd that Akito would respond to being called a girl.)

"Akito, don't hurt Haru!" Tohru gasped.

"Oh, so it's _you_ who's been raping my precious kitten!" Haru glared at Akito. Immediate bitch fight commenced, involving lots of nails and lots of bull (no pun intended). Has anyone else noticed that for the amount of scratching Akito enlists, he might as well be the cat?

Kyo sighed and walked over to the crippled mess that was Tohru.

"Here, idiot," Kyo sighed, extending his hand for Tohru. "Hasn't anyone ever told you not to mess with Akito?"

"I…" Tohru began to explain, but gave up. "Oh, no, I didn't mean to get your arm all bloody!" Tohru wailed, pointing to the miniscule blood stain she left on Kyo's still bare forearm.

"Oh, no, kitten, you're bleeding!" Haru wailed, abandoning Akito.

"No, no, Har, it's fine, I…" Kyo tried to explain, attempting to avoid butt sex in front of Akito and the somewhat annoyingly innocent Tohru. (Then again... she was so innocent she would probably assume that he and Haru were simply playing leap frog...) However, Haru was determined to continue his prior sexual extravaganza with his super sexy lover.

(Enter random fangirl)

"Oh em gee, squee!" said fangirl gasped, having a gushing nosebleed.

"Look what you did!" Kyo yelled.

"I don't see why she's all hot and bothered, your pants aren't even off yet," Haru mumbled, biting Kyo's ear.

"Yes, they are," Akito informed the two.

"But… but…" Kyo whined as Haru made a trail with his tongue down Kyo's stomach, completely ignoring Akito.

"Shut up," Haru growled, silencing the protesting teen by kissing him, biting Kyo's lips until the hot taste of blood seeped into Haru's lustful mouth.

(A/N: moral of the story: Good man sex always wins out over Akito bitch fight.)

"Ha-ha-hatsuharu-san!" Tohru gasped.

"Harder, Haru, yes, yes, God!" Kyo gasped as he was repeatedly rammed into the desk by Haru.

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So, what did you think? Please review. Thank you so much! (Goes off to think about third chapter.)

I had to cut out a lot because of the fansite regulations... I'm pretty sure it's clean enough. After all, it IS rated M... anyway, like I said, for the original version, just leave me a comment and your e-mail address (I don't check my e-mail very frequently, so don't e-mail me for it).


	3. Kitchen Kanoodling

YAY it's the third chapter! Woot. (finally) Sorry it took so long, but school has been keeping me really busy. But the quarter ended (and you should all be proud to know I got a 4.0! XP) so I can relax.

Okay, my computer decided to be mean to me and not let links show up accurately… so some of you, I got your e-mails from your profile, but I couldn't get an e-mail for **yukizgurl666**. If that is you, or you want the lemon for THIS chapter, please put your e-mail in the following form: blahblahblah at whatever dot com. Okay? Thanks…

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Fruits Basket. Thanks for rubbing it in my face.

Chapter Three 

After Haru and Kyo's minor public display of affection, Akito had warned the young couple not to show their blossoming love around anyone else, ever again. The traumatized Tohru had been sent off to Hatori to have the incident erased from her memory, and Kyo went back to Shigure's for dinner.

"What's for dinner?" Kyo asked the second he stepped in the door.

"I think that's up to you," Shigure responded without bothering to look up from his newspaper.

"Why do _I _get to decide?" strangely upset over something positive happening. Then again, Kyo enjoyed picking fights.

"Because Tohru's not home so you're cooking," Shigure explained, turning the page.

"What?" Kyo exclaimed, jumping onto the table dramatically. "Why doesn't Mr. Perfect Yuki cook, huh?"

"Do you really trust Yuki with your food?" Shigure asked, setting down the newspaper and looking up at the enraged cat. Kyo's thoughts immediately turned to images of burnt rice and unidentifiable meat. Sighing, he gave up and walked into the kitchen. It was times like these when Kyo really began to appreciate Tohru.

Just as Kyo was putting the rice in the rice cooker, there was a knock on the door into the kitchen. Wondering why someone would come to the kitchen door and not the main door, Kyo went to open it to find Haru staring back at him, blankly.

"Har? What are you doing here?" Kyo asked, letting his cousin inside.

"I didn't really feel like going back to the main house," Haru sighed. "So I decided to come here. And then I decided to take the road less traveled and after I realized I had already passed by the house five times, I finally made my way here."

Kyo blinked at Haru. 'How does he always get lost so easily?' he wondered, turning back to dinner.

"Do you need help with dinner?" Haru asked, gesturing towards the boiling pot.

"You can cook?" Kyo asked, skeptical.

"Well… no," Haru sighed, peering at a few vegetables on the counter. "But it's always nice to offer."

'How come no one knows how to cook?' Kyo wondered. Then, to Haru, he said, "Do you want me to teach you?"

"You could do that?" Haru said, looking at Kyo. Kyo swore a small smiled graced Haru's face momentarily before it returned to its normally placid gaze.

"Yeah, sure, come here," Kyo said, moving over to show Haru what he was doing. "Now, you just have to cut up the carrots, like this, and I'll make the fish. Got it?"

"Sure," Haru said, grabbing the knife from Kyo. Kyo turned around to continue cooking, when he realized there were no chopping sounds. Kyo turned his head to see Haru, gazing blankly at the carrots.

"Don't tell me you don't know how to cut carrots?" Kyo sighed, exasperated.

"Huh? Oh… I just…," Haru said, trailing off. It was obvious to Kyo that his lover's mind was in a separate place (though, how does one really tell when Haru isn't all there?).

'Poor Haru, he's probably really upset about today,' Kyo contemplated. 'Oh well, I know how to cheer him up. AHAHAHA!'

"Let me show you, it's really easy," Kyo said. He stood behind Haru and put his hands on Haru's forearms, then began to manipulate Haru's hands so that he was easily cutting the carrots. Tilting his head, he whispered, "See? Easy." His breath tickled Haru's neck, and Haru shuddered under the touch.

"K-Kyo, we aren't… we aren't supposed to…" Haru protested, moaning, as Kyo took a step into Haru, letting the younger boy feel his erection.

"They don't have to know," Kyo whispered. "We're all alone." Haru didn't want to get in any more trouble, but Kyo's touch felt so… good.

"Ah, Kyo," Haru moaned as Kyo lips gently brushed down Haru's neck. Kyo was so close, his touch, it was right there… all Haru had to do was reach out and…

"Get it," Haru smiled. Kyo looked up at Haru, a puzzled look in his eyes, but before he could say anything, Haru captured his lips with his own, crushing them with so much force, possession. He wanted Kyo, and only Kyo.

Kyo willingly opened up for Haru, but didn't submit to him, battling for dominance with his tongue. Kyo ran two finger tips down Haru's spine, stopping at the tailbone and made small, gentle eights on Haru's back.

"Ungh, Kyo…" Haru muttered, removing his mouth from Kyo's and bringing his lips down to Kyo's neck. He started off gently rubbing circles on the pale skin with his tongue, but quickly got rough, biting and marking Kyo as his own.

"Mm, Haru…" Kyo moaned. He brought his hands up Haru's shirt and to the front, where he began playfully teasing Haru's nipples. Haru brought his lips back up to Kyo's and Kyo began unbuttoning Haru's shirt, letting it fall casually to the floor. He placed one leg in between Haru's, rubbing against Haru's erection with his thigh.

"Oh, mm, Kyo," Haru gasped, grabbing onto Kyo's back and digging it with his nails. He had only managed to unbutton Kyo's shirt halfway, but Kyo quickly tore it off, tossing it onto the growing heap of clothes. He nudged Haru with his thigh and gently pushed him to the ground, admiring the younger teen beneath him, his hands possessively on Haru's chest and his eyes full of desire.

"God, Kyo," Haru gasped as Kyo gently brushed Haru's painfully throbbing erection. He quickly silenced Haru's moans with a kiss as he took off Haru's pants and then kicked off his own. Kyo grabbed Haru's erection through his boxers, making Haru cry out Kyo's name in desire.

Smiling, he bent down and began tracing Haru's swollen lips with his tongue. Haru brought his hands up and gently pushed Kyo's chest, forcing his lover to sit back up. He then began licking the crevice between Kyo's collar bones, working his way down the line that divided Kyo's chest in half. Then, he began sucking on Kyo's stiff nipples, circling them with his tongue and playfully sucking up the saliva he left behind.

"Ah, Haru!" Kyo moaned, falling backwards. Haru followed him, never breaking contact between his mouth and Kyo's chest. "Be my… Valentine, Haru," Kyo finally gasped out, panting beneath Haru and leaning up to lick his earlobe.

"Oh!" Haru gasped, arching into the teen beneath him. He collapsed onto Kyo, panting and moaning. Kyo reached up and wrapped his arms around Haru's waist, bringing the ox's head into his chest.

When Haru finally managed to regain his breath, he pushed himself up so he could look down at Kyo.

"Of course I'll be your Valentine, kitten," Haru smirked, kissing Kyo's forehead.

Just then, the fire alarm went off.

"Holy shit!" Kyo screamed, pulling himself out from under Haru and standing up, eyes wide in horror when he saw the water had boiled over and the stove was smoking.

"Fuck!" Haru cried out, frantically looking around for a fire distinguisher. Kyo madly tried to bat the fire out with his shirt.

And that was the scene that Yuki and Shigure entered the kitchen to see. Two teenagers in boxer shorts, attempting to put out a fire, their lips swollen and necks and chests covered in love bites.

Haru and Kyo froze when Yuki and Shigure had entered. Shigure also froze and if it weren't for Yuki, who calmly grabbed the fire extinguisher and put out the fire as if this was a normal occurrence, the fire would have been forgotten until it had consumed the entire house.

"Kyo and… Haru? Haru… and Kyo?" Shigure finally whispered. Haru and Kyo exchanged glances. The silence was deafening, until Shigure burst out laughing. "Hahahaha, Kyo and Haru sitting in a tree, s-e-x-y seeeexy!" Shigure sang obnoxiously. Yuki walked up behind Shigure and hit him over the head with the fire extinguisher.

XXXX

Shigure and Haru sat in awkward silence in the dining room. After the little "incident" with Haru and Kyo, Haru had been banned from entering Shigure's kitchen ever again. Shigure then sent Yuki to help Kyo finish cooking dinner. After all, he wanted to make sure Kyo didn't start masturbating into his miso.

"So…" Shigure said, his elbows on the table and his fingers tapping together.

"Yes?" Haru asked, breaking out of his glazed over stare.

"So… how long have you and… you and…?" Shigure asked, tapping his fingers so hard that the table was starting to shake.

Haru blinked at Shigure, wondering how to begin answering the question. Shigure blinked back, urging Haru to go on. Haru rolled his eyes and sighed, standing up and walking out of the room.

"W-wait! Haru, where are you going!" Shigure asked.

"Kyo and Yuki are taking a longer time than expected, so I'm going to see what's up," Haru explained.

"Well, I'm coming with you!" Shigure demanded quickly. He did NOT want Haru and Kyo rolling around on his kitchen floor, stark naked, again.

"Fine," Haru sighed, continuing to walk towards the kitchen.

The pair stopped, however, when they heard strange noises coming from inside…

"Ungh, Kyo!" a breathless Yuki exclaimed.

"Harder!" Kyo called back.

"I'm… I'm trying!" Yuki whined.

"God, Yuki!" Kyo panted.

Shigure and Haru exchanged confused glances, but said nothing. A crash was heard, and the conversation went on.

"Oh, oh, Kyo," Yuki moaned.

"Ah! Yuki, Yuki!" Kyo wailed.

"Ah, oh, K-k…" Yuki cried.

A banging was heard, followed by a loud thump.

"Yuki, my head!" Kyo cried.

"I'm… I… OH!" Yuki screamed.

Haru's eyes widened in horror and Shigure had to bite his hand to keep from cackling in hysteria.

"Yuki!" Kyo screamed.

"I'm… I'm coming!" Yuki panted.

"Neh, Yu…yuki! Yuki!" Kyo wailed.

"KYO!" Yuki cried, and another loud bang was heard.

"Ah… ah…," Kyo whimpered, sounding content.

Shigure couldn't take it anymore. He let out a soft snicker, but quickly stopped laughing when he noticed the anger flash in Haru's eyes.

"Um… Haru, you might want to… to calm down a little… before," Shigure suggested.

"Before what?" Black Haru snapped. "Before I turn black? Well, too late, buddy boy! That Yuki's gone too far this time! Not with MY VALENTINE!"

"Um… Haru?" Shigure meekly choked out, but Haru had already stormed into the kitchen.

"Get off my Valentine, you rat!" Haru screamed, pointing an accusing finger at a sweaty Yuki who was lying on the floor on top of Kyo.

"Your… your WHAT?" Yuki asked, confused, until he realized he was lying on top of an orange haired cat. "Oh, oh shit, Har… this isn't, this isn't…"

"Don't try to say this isn't what this looks like!" Haru yelled. "I know what this looks like, and I heard it, too!"

"You… you heard it… you heard what?" Kyo asked, even more confused than Yuki. 'What's going on?' Kyo wondered.

"Oh, Kyo," Haru moaned, imitating Yuki. "I'm coming! KYO!"

The color in Kyo and Yuki's faces immediately drained, and they seemed completely paralyzed.

Finally, Kyo managed to speak. "Well, you see, what happened was… Yuki and I were trying to move this table here," Kyo explained, gesturing towards the kitchen table that was lying lopsided on the floor.

"And, well, the little pansy Yuki was too weak to move it right, and so he dropped it, and then I backed up from the table, and Yuki tried to warn me, but it was too late, and I ran into the cabinet and the dishes fell and broke," Kyo continued, pointing to the shattered dishes on the floor.

"And so the cabinet fell on my head," Kyo said. "And I couldn't get the cabinet off of me, so the loaf of a girl that's known as Yuki came over and finally managed to get the cabinet off… and you see, that's when you came in…"

"Listen, Har, I know it sounds bad, but…" Yuki tried to explain, hoping to sooth Kyo.

"But you've gotta' believe me when I say I would never lay a hand on that filthy rat unless it was to beat the crap out of him!" Kyo interrupted.

"Never lay a hand on ME? Beat the crap out of ME?" Yuki exclaimed, shocked. "I don't want to burst your bubble, but I think it's the other way around…"

"What? Don't make fun of MY kitten, Yuki!" Haru cried, swinging to punch Yuki. Yuki, however, easily dodged the futile attempt, and yawned mockingly.

"As usual, I think that this household is far too immature and inept for my presence," Yuki declared. "I'll be in my room."

Yuki left, leaving Haru, Yuki, and Shigure to all stare at each other, wondering what had just happened.

"Well, maybe you too should get started on cleaning this kitchen, and I'll call for takeout, neh?" Shigure suggested, bolting from the disaster scene.

Haru sighed, obviously back to his usual self, and began searching for a broom to clean up the broken dishes. When he noticed Kyo wasn't helping him, he quickly turned back to him and blatantly stated, "Help."

"I dunno…" Kyo sighed, hands in his pockets as he slowly moved towards Haru. "I think I had OTHER things in mind. You know, now that we're all… alone…" Haru's eyes widened in realization as Kyo gently pressed his lips against the younger teen's. Down the hall, the crash from yet another shattering dish could be heard.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Okay, so, again, I was forced to cut out the juicy lemon. If you want it, again, just leave me a comment with your e-mail, except this time, don't put in all the 'at' symbols and the such or else it will appear as a link and won't show up! THANKIES!

Again, please, please, please review! I'll love you forever! Hehe.

Mmkay… I have no idea how long it'll be for the next chapter, just hang in, okay?


	4. Handcuff Hankypanky

Finally, the fourth chapter! (sighs) Sorry for the delay, but my computer died when I was almost done the first draft of the fourth chapter and so I had to start from scratch (grumbles angrily). But here it is, finally! I hope it's worth the wait.

CHAPTER FOUR

It was the day after Valentine's Day, and Haru was still at Shigure's. Shigure, suspecting Haru would sneak into Kyo's room late at night for a little bit of Valentine's night fun, placed a sleeping bag in between the two teens' rooms. It wasn't that he disapproved of their relationship (after all, he was once… and still is… a perverted male), he just didn't want to miss out on an opportunity to make fun of the two horny cousins. Therefore, Kyo and Haru did not have the chance to continue their sexual extravaganza overnight.

Kyo had slept the night away peacefully, slumbering without disturbance the whole night through. Haru, on the other hand, woke up often with a problem he found rather… _hard_ to solve. He tossed and turned repeatedly and could only think of how fuckalicious his pussy's pussy was. When Haru woke for what must have been the eighth time that night, he decided that he would never be able to get back to sleep and went downstairs to see what he could find for breakfast. He entered the kitchen to the sounds and smells of bacon cooking.

"Kyo?" Haru called, scratching his head.

"Ah, Hatsuharu-san, I was wondering when you'd…" Tohru sang chirpily, but stopped once she had turned around and saw Haru.

Haru in nothing but his birthday suit.

Haru, following Tohru's eyes, looked down to see what the girl was ogling at, and suddenly remembered his strange decision to sleep in the nude last night, spurred on by the hopes that Kyo might come in late at night and give him a much wanted blowjob as means of waking him up.

Haru sighed and began to turn around, knowing how fragile Tohru was and how damaging the sight of Haru's penis could be to her emotional stability, but before he could exit the kitchen, Yuki, Kyo, and Shigure all strolled groggily into the kitchen. (Amazing how all three woke up at the exact same time, huh? OO)

"Haru, is it absolutely necessary to attach a cloud to you wherever you go to prevent any further scarring of Miss Honda?" Yuki asked, aggravated.

Kyo dragged Haru by the arm, up the stairs, and into the bedroom, where he began glaring and fuming at the sight of his naked lover before him, which soon made Kyo extremely horny, so before he could start yelling at the younger teen, he quickly turned around to hide his increasing erection.

"Haru, why the _hell_ would you walk downstairs naked?" Kyo asked, staring at the mirror above his dresser.

"I dunno… I guess I don't really have any clothes," Haru sighed. Kyo rolled his eyes.

"What about the clothes you wore _yesterday_?" he asked angrily, whirling around to glare at Haru.

"I guess they got kind of…" Haru's eyes trailed down Kyo's body and he smirked upon seeing Kyo's obvious erection. "Soiled? I see you remember, though…"

Kyo's blush matched his flaring crimson eyes, and he quickly spun around again, making himself busy by searching through his clothes for something the ox could wear. Haru sighed and rested his cheek on his hand, looking with boredom around the messy room, when he spotted a neatly wrapped package lying on the ground amongst a pile of dirty laundry, unopened.

"What's this?" Haru asked, picking up the box and examining it in his hands.

"Oh, just some chocolate Tohru gave me for Valentine's Day," Kyo responded, looking over his shoulder.

"You know, Kyo, I really _love_ chocolate," Haru sighed, gently tossing the box around in his hands. Kyo just rolled his eyes again. "Why didn't _you_ give me any chocolate? Huh?"

"Because I'm not a fucking girl!" Kyo yelled, standing up and brandishing his fists.

"I was just wondering," Haru shrugged, continuing to examine the box with inherent fascination. Kyo sighed and flopped back onto his bed.

"I'm sorry," Kyo finally said.

"Yeah? Well sorry isn't going to cut it," Haru (or should I say Black Haru… dundundun) sneered. In one fluid movement, he grabbed Kyo by the waist and pulled him up so that he was lying flat across the bed, and then he straddled the boy (still naked) beneath of him.

"I… Haru, come on!" Kyo whined, not in the mood for one of Black Haru's sex games.

"Oh, I will come," Haru smirked. "And you will help me."

"But... Tohru and Yuki and Shigure can hear us and –" Kyo started to claim, but his arguments were cut short as Haru grabbed Kyo's tongue in his mouth and sucked up hard.

"Now, will you be quiet, or will I have to punish you?" Haru asked, gently stroking Kyo's jaw and then playfully slapping his cheek.

"No… Haru, it's okay," Kyo moaned, his cheek stinging.

"Good kitty," Haru smirked, licking the red mark on Kyo's face. Haru kissed Kyo again firmly and flattened himself over his lover. Without breaking the kiss, he reached over Kyo's head (yeah, I know, snigger, snigger) and grabbed the box of chocolate from off the floor.

"Want some chocolate, kitten?" Haru asked, placing one of the pieces of chocolate in his warm mouth.

"Nng," Kyo moaned, wrapping his arms around Haru's neck and pulling the ox down onto him, crushing their lips together. Kyo forced his tongue into Haru's mouth and the sweet chocolate immediately covered his taste buds. Rolling over, the two fell to the floor and Haru wrapped his arms around Kyo's slender waist. Kyo broke the kiss, panting for air and staring down at the boy beneath him.

"Do you want to…" Kyo began to ask.

"God, yes," Haru interjected. "But, kitten… there's no way in _hell_ I'm bottoming again." Kyo rolled his eyes, but agreed anyway, and rolled off of Haru.

Haru began to kiss Kyo again as he unbuttoned the older boy's shirt. "Mmm, Kyo, you're chocolate flavored," he smirked, pulling all of Kyo's remaining clothes off. Haru looked longingly at Kyo, his mind spinning with desire.

"Want to do something fun, kitten?" Haru asked, gently tracing Kyo's wrists.

"Like what?" Kyo asked, confused.

"Oh, a little this and that," Haru continued, gently stroking Kyo's erection.

"Um… a little… ah… what?" Kyo continued to pry.

"You know," Haru sighed evasively, pinching Kyo's throbbing head.

"Oh, yes!" Kyo sighed, his head rolling to the side.

"Mmm… good choice," Haru smirked. He stood up off of Kyo and ran out of the room. Kyo sat up, confused as to whether or not to follow Haru, when Haru returned with a few suspiciously bondagey looking items in his hands.

"W-what are those, Har?" Kyo asked nervously, shying away from his lover, who was approaching with a maniacal look in his eyes.

"Oh, just some things I managed to find in Shigure's collection," Haru smiled. "You can count on that guy for _anything_, so long as it's kinky."

"But… what are you going to do with them?" Kyo asked.

"Oh, we're just going to have a little fun!" Haru smiled, straddling Kyo, who had managed to push himself against the wall. "Now, all you have to do is relax," Haru sang into Kyo's ear as he locked Kyo's hands in the handcuffs behind his back.

"Haru… what the hell, are those _handcuffs_?" Kyo gasped, wriggling around underneath of Haru in an attempt to break free from his grip, which just made Haru hornier and even more eager to get Kyo tied up.

"Now, now, kitten, eager, are we?" Haru smirked, roughly grinding his hips against Kyo's erection. "Well, we're doing this _my_ way because _I_ own you! Bow down to me kitten! BWAHAHAHA!" Kyo just glared up at Haru, wondering why he had to enjoy taking it up the ass this much to put up with Black Haru's dominance speeches.

"Just get on with it," Kyo sighed, unable to beat Haru brutally as he wanted to considering his hands were locked behinds his back.

"Get on your knees, my precious pussy!" Haru cried, towering above Kyo.

"Bite me," Kyo growled, attempting to get onto his knees.

"Mm, my pleasure," Haru smiled, wrapping an arm around Kyo and pulling him up to his knees, then happily digging his teeth into Kyo's tender neck.

"Ah! Haru!" Kyo whined, but his whines turned to moans as Haru began massaging the red spot with his tongue.

"I see we're ready, puss-mms," Haru said, smiling at the new-found nickname. He reached over to the pile of sexual delights stolen from Shigure, and found the lube, which he quickly and expertly slathered over his engorged cock. He then lined his dick up with Kyo's opening, and without warning, rammed himself in.

"God damn it, Haru! Ah, ow, ow…" Kyo moaned, his back arching with pain. Haru bent over Kyo, wrapping his arms around his lover's slender waist, and slowly pulled himself out.

"Jesus fucking Christ you didn't even…" Kyo began to complain, but Haru stuck his hand in Kyo's mouth.

"Shh, don't talk," Haru whispered to Kyo's back. A shiver ran up Kyo's spine, causing him to ram his ass against Haru's dick again. He bit down on Haru's hand, which was still in his mouth, as tears of pain filled his eyes.

"It'll feel good soon, my love, master promises," Haru smirked, slowly licking his way down the notches of Kyo's spine and down to his tailbone. Haru removed himself once again, and rammed into Kyo until his balls were hitting Kyo. Haru snaked his hand around Kyo's waist and down to his abandoned erection, which he began pumping in rhythm to his rams into Kyo.

"Ah, Haru… so good…" Kyo moaned incoherently.

"See? What did I tell you?" Haru asked.

"Nng… so close," Kyo whispered, but before he could cum all over the floor, Haru quickly brought his fingers up to Kyo's base, preventing Kyo from climaxing.

"Oh, Haru… please," Kyo whispered, his neck sagging down.

"Will you do what I tell you from now on?" Haru asked, slowly pushing into Kyo.

"Ah… yes," Kyo whispered.

"Yes…?" Haru asked expectantly.

"Yes, master…" Kyo began to say, but his words were cut off by his screams of ecstasy when Haru removed his fingers and Kyo released himself over the floor. Haru quickly came after Kyo, and collapsed on to his kitten, his weight causing the two to sag to the floor.

"Urg… Haru, do you think you could un-cuff me?" Kyo asked.

"I suppose," Haru sighed begrudgingly, but when he reached for the keys, they were no where to be found.

"Um… Kyo, you won't want to hear this but…" Haru began to explain.

"YOU LOST THE FUCKING KEYS!" Kyo yelled, jumping up and glaring at his lover.

"Yes, I lost the keys, and you are going to deal with it," Haru said determinedly with a menacing look in his eyes. Kyo cowered pathetically to Black Haru.

"Ah, Kyo-kun, Hatsuharu-san?" Tohru called meekly through the doorway. "Um… breakfast is ready if you would care for any."

"Oh, Kyo and I already ate," Haru smiled.

"We'll be down in a second!" Kyo called over Haru's comment.

After about ten more minutes, Haru had managed to help Kyo into his pants and got dressed himself, and then the two marched downstairs extremely inconspicuously.

Or so they thought, until Shigure burst out laughing and Yuki just stared, shocked, at the two.

"I see you found my handcuffs!" Shigure smiled. "So that's why you were making all that noise."

"NO, YOU HAVE IT ALL WRONG, WE WERE JUST…" Kyo began to explain.

"Is that... chocolate on your back?" Yuki asked, puzzled. Kyo immediately blushed, and Haru just smirked, remembering all the other places his chocolate-covered tongue had managed to mark Kyo.

"There, there, it's only natural for a growing boy to want to experiment with…" Shigure began to say, but then realized that it was Kyo who was still locked in the handcuffs. "I KNEW IT! KYO BOTTOMS TO…" But he was cut off when Yuki quickly threw his hand over Shigure's mouth. Tohru just stood there, pleasantly perplexed.

Okay, so that's the end. I'm too lazy to e-mail you all a bunch of lemons, so (as you can tell) I directly included it in this story… yay for me! The next chapter may include a threesome… or it may not depending on how well it works out. At any rate, be sure to leave a review! Thank you! XD


	5. Drunken Dreams

Yes, a threesome, just as I promised. For non-Yuki-fans, isokay, just read to the end. I promise I don't bite (shifty eyes).

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, any of the characters, or anything to do with it. Not at all. I'm just another scary fangirl.

CHAPTER FIVE

A/N: Underage drinking in access is very, very dangerous! Grr… (scary intimidating face)

"I'm bored," Kyo whined, slamming down the book he had been reading. Haru looked up from where he was sitting at the opposite side of the couch, a lusty glint in his eyes. (It's kind of creepy to imagine placid white Haru with lusty glint… but that's okay)

"Not _that_ bored," Kyo growled, still sore from yesterday. (It had been quite amusing for Haru to watch his kitten limp down that hallway that day at school, trying to blame his limp on yet another fight with Yuki when Tohru had asked.) It was raining outside, putting Kyo in a very bad mood. No matter what Haru tried to do, he found he couldn't get Kyo very playful.

"Fine," Haru sighed," sliding off of the couch. He wasn't black, so he wasn't about to put up a fight, though he did remember _some_thing about Kyo saying he would do anything Haru asked him just the other day…

"Where are you going?" Kyo snapped, not really knowing why he cared at all where Haru got himself lost in the house. Haru just shrugged and strolled out of the living room, hands in his pockets. Kyo couldn't help watching Haru's ass in the pants he had lent the younger teen, and felt a slight twinge of remorse that he couldn't let Haru strut about the house in nothing but his assless leather chaps, the one piece of clothing Haru had brought with him that wasn't dirty.

XXXXX

"Hey, Yuki," Haru greeted, resting his elbows on the table where his other cousin was doing homework.

"Oh, hello, Haru," Yuki smiled. He couldn't help but feel jealous of the baka neko for jumping on the opportunity that was their attractive younger cousin… literally.

"So, Shigure isn't home?" Haru asked, looking around the kitchen hopefully.

"Shigure? No, he's at Ayame's," Yuki said. (Cut to image of Ayame screaming Shigure's name underneath of the perverted dog.) "Why?"

"No reason," Haru said, shrugging. He began rifling through the cupboards, shifting bottles and boxes around in the drawers. Yuki rolled his eyes and went back to his homework. He was so involved with his work, in fact, that he didn't even notice Haru leave the kitchen five minutes late, loaded down with suspicious looking bottles which cannot be identified at the current moment because the author prefers to leave an air of mystery in her stories.

XXXXX

"Hey, Kyo, I found something fun to do," Haru smiled, dropping the bottles onto the couch.

"What?" Kyo grumbled. He looked up to Haru and noticed the many bottles, sparkling mischievously at him. He brought himself up on the couch to get a better look, and his jaw dropped when he realized that every last bottle was full of pure, hard liquor.

"Holy crap, where did you get all this from!" Kyo screamed, picking up a bottle of Captain Morgan's. (Do they have Captain Morgan's in Japan? Er…)

"It's Shigure's stash," Haru said, his smile widening. Haru was beginning to show so much emotion, Kyo worried he had turned black.

"How did you find it?" Kyo asked shakily.

"It wasn't hard," Haru said. "He might as well have labeled the cupboard 'Special Happy Beverages'. Not that you or Yuki would have found it, anyway."

"What are you going to do with it?" Kyo asked, getting more nervous. He didn't want to admit it, but he'd never had more alcohol in his system than a little Sake at New Year's and he didn't want to look like a lightweight in front of his younger lover.

Haru just stared blankly at Kyo, annoyed with all the questions, before he finally said, very seriously, "I was thinking about using it as lube. Which do you want to try first?"

Kyo glared at Haru, then yelled, "DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID? AND WHAT ABOUT SHIGURE! DON'T YOU THINK HE'LL NOTICE ONE OF HIS MOST PRIZED POSESSIONS HAS GONE MISSING!"

"Maybe…" Haru said slowly. "I was just trying to make you happy. Did you think of _that_?"

"Um... Haru, calm down, I didn't mean…" Kyo began to explain, backing away from Black Haru, who was currently sporting a very angry look in his eyes. (Wow, Haru goes black a lot around Kyo. Maybe their relationship is unhealthy?... nah)

But before Kyo knew what was going on, Haru had launched at the cat, landing on top of him. Of course, considering Kyo's unstable position on the couch, the two toppled to the floor with a graceful thud.

"Could you two possibly manage to be quiet for ten minutes? Some of us have work to…" Yuki began to reprimand the two teens, until he walked in on the two in a very compromising position. Kyo was on all fours, his ass raised in the air and pressed against Haru, who was sitting on top of him.

"Oh… my…" Yuki gasped, his hand flying to his increasing erection.

Haru whipped his head around to stare at his flustered cousin behind him. "Wanna join?" he smirked. Yuki just glared at him, unsure if he could contain a moan of longing if he were to respond. It had been so hard (again, literally) for Yuki these few days as he continued to walk in on Kyo and Haru doing incredibly hot and kinky things together, continually touching and kissing each other. Yuki could only dream about joining in on their fun. Unless…

"So… do you want to play a game?" Yuki asked once he regained control over himself, a plot forming in his mind. He gestured towards the many bottles of booze that had been abandoned on the couch.

"What sort of game?" Kyo asked, still supporting his boyfriend's weight.

"How about I've Never?" Yuki asked innocently enough.

"I don't know…" Kyo sighed.

"Do it, bitch!" Haru snapped, still black. He slipped his hand under Kyo's baggy shirt and began playing with his nipples, rubbing his fingertips lightly over them and then pinching and twisting them.

"Haru, stop," Kyo whispered sharply, somewhat blushing.

'Kyo's so cute when he blushes,' Yuki thought to himself.

"It's your own fault," Haru smiled, continued to deliver his nipple service. "How many times do I tell you people won't be able to harass your precious nipples if you wear spandex shirts." Kyo began to glare, but he couldn't turn his head around to stare at his boyfriend, so he found himself scowling at the floor.

Yuki began coughing and sputtering. Haru and Kyo took it as a sign that he was ready to start playing, but it was really because Yuki got a sudden extremely hot image in his mind of Kyo wearing a tiny spandex shirt, his slim waist accentuated by the way the shirt clung to his every tone muscle.

"Hey, Yuki, are you gonna play, or do you want to wipe the drool off your chin first?" Kyo asked, perching himself atop the couch.

"What? Oh… right," Yuki said absently, sitting on the floor across from the couch. Haru grabbed a bottle of Cytrynowka Lemon Vodka (it really exists… hehe) and placed it between the three on the floor.

"I'll start," Haru smiled. "I've never… enjoyed bottoming." He looked up and smirked at Kyo, who was aghast that he would have to take the first sip. With shaky hands, he reached for the vodka bottle and tenderly brought it to his lips. He looked at the yellow liquid with one eye closed, then took a sharp inhale of the scent. He began coughing. The lemony fresh scent was highly overpowered by the smell of the strong liquor.

"We're not here to watch you woo the vodka," Yuki snapped, eager for Kyo to get drunk out of his mind.

'All right, this is it,' Kyo sighed inwardly. In one quick movement, he tilted the bottle upward and felt the pungent liquor slide down his throat. He placed the bottle on the floor with a trembling hand, coughing and wiping his mouth on the back of his other hand.

"That's the foulest thing I've ever tasted," Kyo shuddered.

"Funny, that's what you said the first time you gave me a blowjob," Haru smirked.

"Haru!" Kyo snapped, fuming. He wasn't sure how long he could play this game, not just because he was afraid of dying from alcohol poisoning, but also because he was afraid of dying from embarrassment.

"Your turn, Kyo," Yuki pointed out.

"Okay," Kyo sighed, thinking. Finally, he said, "I've never bound someone with handcuffs." Haru proudly reached for the bottle and took a big swig.

'Damn, he's used to drinking,' Yuki thought angrily when he noticed how little the strong liquor had phased Haru. Then, he said, "I've never had sex at school," when he remembered the little incident on Valentine's Day, when he had first found out about Kyo and Haru. Better to kill two birds with one stone had always been Yuki's policy. That, and your hot cousins will be more willing to fuck you when drunk.

Haru took his sip and, yet again, looked the same Haru as always.

"Here, kitten, I'll _share _the burden of your sip with you," Haru smiled innocently enough. He took another gulp of the vodka and then turned to Kyo, placing his hand on Kyo's chin and slowly lowering his chin, parting Kyo's lips, then gently crushing their lips together. From where Yuki sat, he could see some orange fluids dripping down their faces, and knew that they must be Frenching.

As Haru kissed Kyo, the cold vodka swished in between their mouths, pushed around by Haru's tongue. Once Haru had gotten most of the booze into Kyo's mouth, he slowly removed his tongue and closed Kyo's mouth.

"Swallow," Haru smiled, his breath brushing against Kyo's lips. Yuki had a sudden strange desire for his dick to be the vodka bottle, for his cum to be the fluid moving in between his cousins' mouths.

Kyo looked slightly flustered after the vodka kiss, which he found bizarrely erotic in the whole bad-meets-gentle aspect of it. It was the whole reason he had found himself first attracted to Haru, because Black Haru was so bad and White Haru was so tender.

"Well… I… uh… Haru," Kyo sputtered. "Your turn."

Haru smirked, happy with the effect he had on Kyo, all the while completely oblivious to the effect he had had upon Yuki.

After a while, Haru decided he needed to know something for certain. "I've never thought about kissing Tohru," he said. Yuki resentfully took his first sip of the game, worried that he would be risking getting drunk and saying something he would prefer Haru and Kyo did not know while sober. Kyo thought for a moment, and, deciding it was best to be honest, reached for the bottle and slowly brought his lips to the opening and took a small sip.

"WHAT?" Haru exclaimed as Kyo took his sip.

"It was… just once… when… and I hadn't seen you in a really long time and…" Kyo said, wishing he could go back in time and _not_ do the right thing. Damn you Tohru and your shitty advice.

"It better had just been once," Haru glared, his eyes glowing.

"MY TURN!" Kyo exclaimed loudly just as Haru was about to attack him for the second time that day. "I've never… er… jerked off in the senior bathroom?" he said, at a loss for something to say in his hopes to prevent a fatal collision with Black Haru.

Yuki took a dainty sip, because he was Yuki and Yuki does things daintily. Also, because he didn't want to get drunk. Then, Haru reached for the bottle after him.

"Haru, you're only a freshman!" Kyo gasped, because he _always_ followed the rules and using the senior bathroom, especially as a freshman, was _wrong_. That, or Kyo was deeply impressed at Haru's audacity to infiltrate an upperclassmen-only area and mark it with his seed.

Haru shrugged, saying, "It was the day you got caught in the rain. And your shirt was all see-through and your pants were all tight and… ung…" Haru began moaning, smiling at the thought.

"Haru!" Kyo yelled playfully. Yuki knew that Kyo was already getting tipsy, because sober Kyo does not do things playfully. Drunk Kyo was slightly disturbing to Yuki.

"Oh, right…" Haru sighed. In a mock whisper, he added, "Because Yuki's innocent and doesn't know that we do the dirty deed in bed yet." Kyo just rolled his eyes and turned to Yuki, waiting for him take his turn.

"I've never started a fire in the kitchen before," Yuki said, realizing how often Kyo and Haru had had sex in the past few days.

"HAHAHA! Remember that, Har? Because you were so-o-o-o caught up after I had just topped you that you didn't even realize the kitchen was burning down right under your nose! You liked it, admit it!" Kyo giggled after taking his sip. (Kyo giggling… scary)

"Shut up," Haru snapped as he reached for the bottle. "I'm thinking I like you better sober."

"Aw, you're no fun!" Kyo pouted, trying to stand up and collapsing in Haru's lap, which made Kyo laugh even harder. Haru looked caught between annoyed with Kyo's drunken ditzyness and horny over the newfound bishounen in his lap. Yuki, meanwhile, was thoroughly disappointed that Kyo had not fallen in _his_ lap and was frustrated to see that Haru was still as sober as the couch he was sitting on.

"I've never…" Haru began to say, starting his turn.

"You've never fucked a drunken Kyo," Kyo whispered against Haru's crotch, which was right in his face. Haru could feel his dick stiffening, and began pondering the prospect of all the incredibly hot and kinky things that Kyo, while drunk, would allow Haru to do to him.

"Yes, Ha-haru?" Yuki asked, shifting around to hide his uncomfortably stiff erection.

Haru sighed, mad that Yuki had pulled him out of his wonderfully erotic fantasies. "I've never…"

"Ow, Haru, your lap is getting hard," Kyo whined, shifting his head around to find a more comfortable space, which only served to make Haru's "lap" even harder.

"Will you shut it!" Haru yelled angrily, though he couldn't be _too_ angry at the adorable cat who was practically serving himself to Haru on a dinner plate at the moment. "I'm _trying_ to take my turn!"

"No, you're _trying_ to get me to shift my head just right so that if you unbutton your pants I can give you a blowjob without Yuki noticing," Kyo pointed out blatantly. "You just want it to _seem _like you're trying to take your turn."

Haru slapped his forehead (does Haru slap his forehead? Oh well… he does now) while Yuki went wide eyed in astonishment.

'How has all this incredibly hot and kinky mansex been going on right under my nose and I haven't even noticed it?' Yuki wondered in astonishment. (Maybe that's why _you_ haven't been participating in any incredibly hot and kinky mansex, Yuki-kun. gasp)

"Well… er… Haru, it's your turn," Yuki said uncomfortably.

"Yes, I've noticed," Haru said, glaring at Yuki. Then, really quickly so as not to be interrupted once again by Kyo, he said, "I've-never-masturbated-to…"

Suddenly he was at a loss for words (considering Haru's probably masturbated to every living soul on the planet… besides Tohru), so he said, "Haru?"

'Maybe he is getting drunker,' Yuki thought hopefully as he absentmindedly reached for the vodka.

And all eyes were on him as he frantically searched for an excuse, which he had trouble finding in his drunken state. He was even considering the prospect that he had meant he had masturbated to the thought of himself, which would be the truth (because Yuki's an arrogant prick… hehe jus kidding… hides from scary Yuki fangirls).

"Yu… yuki?" Haru asked, shocked.

"It was just once," Yuk muttered, looking away. But he felt a hand gently push his cheek, forcing Yuki to look at the gorgeous ox. Yuki was shocked to see that Haru was smiling… or maybe he was smirking, but either way, his face was slowly moving forward to Haru's and their lips met. Haru pushed his tongue into Yuki's mouth and began running it in circles over Yuki's pale tongue. Yuki felt Haru's hands travel up the back of his shirt and run over his shoulder blades and ribs before moving to the front, where he began pinching and running circles over Yuki's nipples (gee, Haru really has a nipple fetish…).

"Nng…" Kyo muttered, staring longingly at his two cousins. Haru reached behind him and grabbed Kyo by his tie, inviting him to join their (for lack of a better word) party. Yuki removed his mouth from Haru and, as if pulled by a magnetic force, instantly joined with Kyo's lips while Haru nibbled on Yuki's ear, sucking and biting the lobe.

Kyo's kiss was surprisingly gentle and tender when compared with his lover's rough and eager kiss, though he wasn't as submissive as Yuki had expected. Yuki's mouth was filled with yet another tongue, this time Kyo's, momentarily, before Yuki pushed his tongue back, forcing himself into Kyo's mouth, exploring the new territory as if exploring a foreign cave.

Haru abandoned Yuki's ear and moved to Kyo, wrapping his arms around Kyo's waist underneath of his shirt and pulling the cat onto his lap. Yuki followed Kyo, crawling on his hands and knees to prevent the kiss from breaking. As Kyo continued to kiss Yuki, he began grinding his ass into Haru's erection, bouncing on his lap and moving his hips in slow circles. Haru moved one hand down from Kyo's waist and slid it down his pants, finding the neko's already stiff penis and slowly moving his hand up and down the shaft. He began to knead the throbbing pink head, and Kyo let out a gasp into Yuki's mouth.

Yuki smiled and removed his mouth from Kyo's, although reluctantly considering he was making up for all those times Kyo had yelled at Yuki and Yuki had just wanted to plug up the cat's mouth with his tongue. Yuki quickly pulled down Kyo's pants and boxers, then took Kyo's erection from Haru. He slowly slid his mouth onto it, unsure if this was what his lovable cousin wanted or what his crazy drunk cousin thought sounded amusing.

As if he had read Yuki's mind, Kyo placed his hand on the back of Yuki's pale neck, placing a gentle amount of pressure on him, urging him forward. Yuki moved his head down, gently massaging the underside of Kyo's penis with his tongue as he slowly moved down towards the balls. It wasn't the first time Yuki had deep-throated somebody before, but it had been awhile since Yuki had been on the giving-end, so he found his throat tight around Kyo's erection. He took a few deep gulps, allowing his head to move all the way down to Kyo's balls. He then slowly pulled his head nearly all the way off of Kyo, his throat grateful for the newfound breathing room. Yuki gently breathed on Kyo's head, the sudden cold air making Kyo twitch, his naked ass giving Haru even more pleasure.

Haru was sure he had to do something to release himself, so he gently slid out from under Kyo and walked over to Yuki, whose ass was raised high in the air as he sucked Kyo.

Haru first undid his pants, and then Yuki's, but before he could slather lube onto his fingers and dick, Yuki removed his face from Kyo and looked at Haru.

"What about the condom?" Yuki asked, worried.

"Well, I'm pretty sure Kyo's never fucked or been fucked by anyone but me, so as far as I know, we're both safe," Haru shrugged, coating himself with lube.

"Haru!" Kyo glared, his intended yell coming out in more of a gasp.

"It's true," Haru shrugged. Yuki returned to Kyo's dick as Haru placed one finger at Yuki's untouched ass. "Besides, it's not like I'm gonna get you…" Haru said, shoving his finger up, "…pregnant."

Haru then stuck in the second finger, moving them around to open up the entrance and causing Yuki to squeal around Yuki's penis, but Haru persisted, carefully inserting the third finger. Haru then removed his fingers and got to his knees, placing the tip of his erection at Yuki's entrance and holding Yuki's hips firmly with his strong hands. Gently, he moved into Yuki.

"Aaah! Haru!" Yuki cried, arching his back and dropping Kyo's erection.

"It'll feel better soon," Kyo said reassuringly, holding Yuki's face gently in his hands. Yuki nodded, tears flooding his eyes, and continued face fucking Kyo.

Haru slowly pulled out from Yuki, but pushed in faster this time, ramming against Yuki's prostate. Yuki closed his eyes, seeing colors, and moaned with delight. The vibrations caused Kyo to start moaning, and Haru smirked at the big moaning fest he had started, continuing to ram into Yuki.

"Mm… Yuki, I'm gonna…" Kyo began to mutter wearily, unsure whether Yuki wanted a face full of his cousin's cum. Yuki began bobbing his head faster and harder, leaving gentle bite marks all over Kyo's penis, until Kyo had shot his come into the rat's mouth. Kyo sat up and kissed the cum off of Yuki's face that had leaked out of his mouth, reaching his arm over Yuki's erection and pumping it fiercely.

Yuki was next to orgasm with a loud scream of delight, and collapsed onto Kyo beneath of him while Haru continued pushing into Yuki until his seed exploded deep inside the boy, joining the heap that was composed of the sweaty, pantless bodies of his cousins.

"We should do this more often," Kyo mumbled, wrapping his arms lazily around Yuki's neck.

"Hey, Yuki?" Haru asked against Yuki's back.

"Yeah?" Yuki responded dreamily.

"Could you stop drooling? It's freaking me out," Haru grumbled.

"What?" Yuki stammered, blinking. It was then that he realized he had been ogling over Haru and Kyo for the past three minutes. In fact, he had only gotten so far as to suggest a drinking game when his mind slipped into an alternate reality that involved sexy threesomes with two of his hottest cousins.

"What about a drinking game?" Kyo asked from underneath of Haru.

"NOOOOOO!" Yuki cried, running from the living room and upstairs to his bedroom, where he could relieve himself in private.

"What was that all about?" Kyo asked curiously, rolling over so that his back was on the ground and Haru had fallen into his lap.

"Beats me, kitten," Haru shrugged, leaning over and planting a possessive kiss on Kyo's lips. The kiss soon leaned on the edge of passion, Haru cleaning out Kyo's teeth, tongue, and lips with his own tongue. Kyo brought his knees up, allowing Haru to lie in between his legs, and began pressing their erections together, clinging onto Haru's back for support. Haru slid up and down Kyo as he continued to kiss him, moaning into his lover's mouth.

"Oh, my!" a familiar positively delighted voice reached the cousins' ears. Haru removed his mouth from Kyo's, a string of spit still connecting them, and turned his head slowly, cringing upon seeing a tall man with long white hair beaming down at them.

"Aya, what are you…" Shigure asked, walking up behind the snake and seeing the horny couple on the floor. "Oh, I see you've found out about Haru and Kyo."

"Indeed!" Ayame said, nearly passing out with delight.

"It's not _that_ wonderful," Shigure pouted.

"No, no, our love is far more beautiful and glorious than any relationship in the world!" Ayame beamed exaggeratedly, throwing his arms dramatically around Shigure.

"Will you shut up!" Kyo screamed, trying and failing to get out from underneath of Haru.

"There, there, I know you've had your eyes on me for some time, but you mustn't be jealous, my dear kitty," Ayame said in an effort to be soothing to Kyo, which only made Kyo angrier and more freaked out.

"Shut up! I wouldn't kiss you if my life depended on it!" Kyo yelled, again trying to escape Haru's grip so that he could run away from the creepy rapist snake.

"Come, Aya, you've traumatized Kyo enough for one day," Shigure said, heading for the kitchen.

"Ah, young love, if only my Yuki would be able to share in their joy," Ayame swooned, clutching his heart for dramatic effect.

Ayame and Shigure began to head for the kitchen, when they noticed….

THE BOOZE!

"Kyo… where did you find my vodka?" Shigure asked warily, picking up the many liquor bottles from the couch.

"IT WASN'T ME!" Kyo wailed frantically.

"Aya, come, we must teach this pitiful excuse for a human how to _properly_ sneak booze from his guardian," Shigure said, shaking his head dismally.

XXXXX

Eh… hope it wasn't too disappointing, this was my first threesome. Mmkay… please review! (bats eyes flirtatiously) (passes out miniature Harus and Kyos going at it)


	6. Lonely Lovers

Wow, it's chapter 6! I know it's been a while since I updated, so I'm sorry to anyone who has been reading this, and I thank anyone who is sticking with my story long enough to be reading this chapter! This chapter is kind of short compared to other chapters (OMIGOSH NOOOO… makes horrified face) but it leads up to the next chapter, so it's not like I got _lazy_ or anything (cough cough).

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket or the characters in it. If I did, it would be wrapped.

CHAPTER SIX

After school on Tuesday, Haru, Kyo, Yuki, and Tohru could all be found in the living room of Shigure's house. Haru and Yuki sat on the couch, Kyo laid sprawled across the ground, and Tohru sat politely in the corner, making random comments about how happy today was and how positive the outlook is and other gratingly cheerful things of the nature of sunshine, lemons, daisies, and all things yellow.

Kyo sat up and began making proclamations of his boredom and how much his head hurt from the noise, as if it wasn't half his fault that the room had become so noisy.

"Please stop talking," Yuki whined in a really girlish way. "I'm trying to do homework."

"You know what?" Kyo yelled, seamlessly moving from annoyed into violent spaz. "I'm tired of…" He was just about to make yet another unfortunately predictable threat to Yuki when he was cut off by a single brisk, purposeful knock at the door.

"Get it, Kyo," Yuki instructed. "I'm busy."

"Me?" Kyo snarled, fire dramatically appearing behind him. "ME?"

"I… I can get it!" Tohru meekly laughed from the corner.

"No, Miss Honda, please sit down," Yuki told Tohru, not moving his eyes off of Kyo. Haru rolled his eyes, tired of Yuki and Kyo's constant bickering, and stood up and trudged to the door. Upon opening, he really wished he hadn't, but was obliged to open the door wider to allow the visitor in.

"Hello, Haru," Hatori said. "Akito has instructed that I bring you home." He didn't feel the need to add that Akito wanted Haru home so that Kyo couldn't have his little playmate any more.

"What?" Kyo asked, snapping out of his fierce battle with Yuki.

"I have to go home," Haru replied blandly.

"But…" Kyo protested, crestfallen. "How did you know…?"

"You can thank Aya later, if you would like," Hatori sighed. "But I really must bring Haru home. Please gather your things."

Haru walked calmly up the stairs to his bedroom, and Kyo quickly raced up the stairs behind him.

"Haru, wait!" Kyo called after his lover. "Are you really going to go home?"

"Yes," Haru said slowly. He wouldn't dare defy Akito.

"But, now we'll never…" Kyo began to protest.

"I've only been living here for a few days," Haru reminded Kyo. "You'll barely notice I'm gone."

After a moment's pause, Kyo agreed with Haru, and flopped onto the floor.

Haru began to walk out of the room, but at the door, he paused and turned around, staring expectantly at Kyo.

"What?" Kyo grumbled.

"Well, don't you have anything to say?" Haru asked.

"Oh right, see you tomorrow," Kyo nodded dismissively, clearly distracted, and Haru was more than a little hurt at his lover's disinterest in the situation.

In fact, he was _so_ hurt, he was pushed over the edge.

"Fine! You know what, I won't miss you and your lame whining, either!" Black Haru snapped, slamming the door shut behind him. Kyo sat up a little and stared, confused, at the door. Downstairs, Tohru looked, flustered, between Yuki and Hatori, attempting to shelter _them_ from the lovers' quarrel occurring upstairs. Hatori and Yuki just rolled their eyes, all too used to the dramatic antics of Black Haru.

"Har?" Kyo asked to the empty room.

'What did I do?' Kyo wondered, confused, before he decided Haru was just mad that he had to go home. 'Yeah, mad because he'll miss me and my ass,' Kyo smirked, obviously satisfied with himself.

For the first few hours after Haru had left, Kyo barely noticed the cow was gone. It was just a lot quieter in the house. However, as time went by, he couldn't help but miss his lover.

"Haru…" Kyo whined pathetically in his empty room. In all honesty, he just missed Haru because he was extremely horny. Haru had trained him well to be highly sensitive, so that even the slightest movement of fabric against his lesser known parts could make him hot and bothered.

"Damn it, Har! Why'd you leave? You know what, I'm just going to have to settle this myself!" Kyo decided, not really caring that he was reduced to talking to himself. After all, he was a mountain man, and mountain men talked to themselves frequently. Right?

Of course, Kyo didn't really care to lower himself to masturbation when he had a perfectly suitable lover only miles away. And, again, Kyo was a mountain man, so what was a few mile trek to a mountain man? Quickly, Kyo slipped on his sneakers and crawled out the window and onto the roof (he didn't want Shigure to know he was desperate enough to sneak out late at night to visit Haru). Unfortunately, the second Kyo had landed smoothly on the ground, a big drop of water collided with his shoulder. Confused, Kyo looked up, only to be shattered by millions of water droplets. Kyo immediately realized it was raining, and though he desperately wished to get back inside, his kitty-senses tingling, he really, really wanted to see Haru. Thus, Kyo began the voyage to the main house.

XXXXX

Meanwhile, Haru sat in his room, bored out of his mind. Rain splattered down the glass window of his first-floor bedroom, and he watched absentmindedly as a puddle of mud formed on the ground underneath of the window.

He missed Kyo, and was counting down the hours until school started the next day and he could canoodle with his kitty in the first floor storage room, one of the few places on campus that they hadn't yet christened.

Suddenly, as if appearing out of nowhere, he saw a particularly wet orange-haired teen standing in the mud puddle he had been staring at. Did he miss Kyo so much that he was starting to imagine his lover standing outside of his window? No… he couldn't be going crazy!

"Haru, let me in!" Kyo hissed.

"No! You aren't real! Don't talk to me!" Black Haru yelled, opening his window only to begin throwing random things off the floor of his room at the "figment of his imagination" that was Kyo.

"Haru! Stop!" Kyo hissed some more, dodging random objects such as pencils, lamps, and boxers (why throw boxers?). Finally, however, Haru managed to hit Kyo with an obscenely large Hello Kitty plushie, which came complete with matching flowered plastic teacup, which is what hit Kyo right in the forehead. Why Haru was in possession of a Hello Kitty plushie, the world will never know.

"Nooooooooo…" Kyo wailed in slow motion, falling dramatically on his back, the beginnings of a bruise appearing on his face.

"Kyo, you're real!" Haru smiled, and then, upon realizing he had just induced his kitten's death-by-teacup, his smile faded. "Shit." Haru quickly crawled out of his window and began poking Kyo, trying to see if his lover was still alive.

"Nng…" Kyo moaned, turning over and getting half of his face coated in mud.

"You went out in the rain for me?" Haru asked gently.

"Yeah," Kyo continued to moan. "I also endured an attack by your possessions. I am in pain, and I'm beginning to think that someone is trying to send me a message."

"Would you like me to kiss it and make it better?" Haru smirked, picking Kyo up.

"I don't need your help," Kyo whined, struggling out of Haru's grip and slipping in through the open window. Haru followed him.

"So why'd you come?" Haru asked. Kyo glared at him, knowing that the cow knew full well why Kyo was there and was only asking to get Kyo to actually say he missed Haru.

"Well, if you don't say what you want, then I'm afraid I can't help you," Haru snapped impatiently, leaning out his window to collect the items he had thrown outside.

Kyo mumbled something, and Haru sang, "I-can't-hear-you!"

"I want…" Kyo said, trailing off at the end to mutter something yet again inaudible.

"What was that?" Haru smirked, grabbing the last of his possessions and putting it back on his bedroom floor.

"I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME!" Kyo screamed at the top of his lungs, thoroughly impatient by that point.

"Now, now, kitten, no need to be announcing to the entire household of your desires."

"You know what, Haru, you really bother the fuck out of me," Kyo grumbled angrily. "Why do I have to like you so much?"

"Kyo, you don't _like_ me," Haru smiled, sitting on Kyo's lap and nibbling on the cat's ear. "You _love_ me."

"Haru…" Kyo whined, but found himself laying down on Haru's bed, Haru following with his mouth.

Haru's tongue darted out and ran down Kyo's jaw line to pass over and into his mouth. He rubbed his hand over Kyo's abdomen, underneath of his shirt, which was wet and sticking to him like a second skin.

"Why don't you get out of these wet clothes?" Haru whispered, pushing the shirt over Kyo's head. He ran his hands through Kyo's hair, which was sticking slightly to his forehead and was dripping water over Haru's pillow. Haru tilted his head, then took off his shirt and rubbed the mud off of Kyo's face with it.

"Haru…" Kyo moaned, his eyes fluttering shut.

"Shh…" Haru whispered, covering Kyo's mouth with his own in a chaste kiss. "Can you stay quiet?"

Kyo nodded wordlessly, looking deeply into Haru's eyes, then closed his eyes and moved his head up, his lips colliding with Haru's. Haru began running his tongue over Kyo's as he slowly took off Kyo's pants. He ran his hand slowly down Kyo's inner thigh, and then took his mouth off of Kyo's and brought his tongue to the tip of Kyo's boxers, rubbing his tongue along the tender skin, all the while keeping his eyes on Kyo.

Kyo opened his mouth to moan in longing, but Haru quickly brought one hand up and shoved it in Kyo's mouth, silencing any noise his kitten would have made.

Kyo swirled his tongue over the hand that was in his mouth, sucking on Haru's fingers and running his tongue over the knuckles. He brought his knees up and quickly pushed Haru's elastic-waist pants off with his feet.

"I want you," Kyo whispered, making sure to be as silent as possible. Haru nodded softly, and began to sit up so Kyo could roll over underneath of him.

"No… I want to look at you," Kyo whispered, pulling off his boxers and spreading open his legs.

Haru smirked and reached over Kyo for the bottle of lube hidden under a pile of books on Haru's nightstand.

"As you wish, kitty," he smiled.

XXXXX

Okay, that's the end! I have an idea for the next chapter already, so hopefully it won't take so long to update. I promise, it will be better than this chapter (sobs). Please comment, and thank you for reading!


	7. Crossdressing Cat

A/N: Well, I almost updated quickly (for once), but my beta decided to put off reading my fic as she is a MAJOR PROCASTINAOR! GARR! Anyway, I really liked the idea for this chapter, but I just hope it isn't too cliché (pouty face). Well, thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket or the characters in it.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Kyo rolled over lazily, the warm sun beating down on his naked back. He made a soft moaning sound, smiling, and then slowly opened one of his eyes. Suddenly, however, upon noting his surroundings, he bolted upright in his bed – or rather, Haru's. Haru slept naked next to him, sprawled across the bed and the bed sheets twisted in his legs. He was snoring softly and there was a little drool rolling out of his mouth.

Kyo rubbed his eyes and pressed the heels of his hands to his forehead. 'What if Shigure noticed I'm gone?' Kyo thought to himself. As his vision became clearer, he suddenly noticed the clock on Haru's end table – there were only ten minutes left before school started!

"Haru, wake up!" Kyo whispered excitedly, shaking his naked lover.

"Nng, mngfasxmsma," Haru muttered in his sleep as he rolled over, taking the covers with him and flipping Kyo to the ground.

"Damn it, Har, school starts in ten minutes!" Kyo cried, crawling back up to the bed and sitting on top of Haru, shaking him energetically.

"I SAID TEN MORE MINUTES!" Haru yelled, and with his eyes still closed, he swung his hand back to hit Kyo. Kyo quickly rolled off Haru and onto the floor. It was time for drastic measures…

XXXXX

Kyo returned to the bedroom after sneakily scavenging the house for a few supplies. He made it back to Haru's room just before the cow's parents came out of their room. Heart racing, Kyo stared at Haru from the door, gripping a bucket in his hands. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he dumped the ice onto Haru's head and ran as fast as he could out the window, shutting it behind him. Haru twitched as soon as the ice hit him, and quickly opened his eyes and jumped out of bed, looking around for the crazy bastard who dumped a bucket of ice on him. And that was when he saw Kyo standing outside his window, petrified, with a bucket in his hands.

"KYO!" Haru yelled, rushing to the window. He lifted the window open, but as he was climbing out, Kyo hit him as hard as he could in the shoulder with the bucket. Haru fell to the soft earth with a loud thud and stared dazed at the sky above him.

"School starts in five minutes," Kyo told Haru as he stepped over his cousin to get back into the bedroom.

XXXXX

Kyo and Haru snuck onto the school grounds five minutes late, out of breath from running the entire way there. Kyo still had a small bruise on his forehead from the night before and Haru was rubbing his shoulder. Both had a generally disheveled appearance and looked as though they had spent the night sleeping outside. Kyo fidgeted in Haru's school uniform. Though both were about the same size, Haru's was a lot stiffer than Kyo's. He had to admit, Tohru was a miracle laundress.

"If someone asks, say I ran away from home and you just happened to run into me on your way to school," Kyo explained to Haru grumpily.

"Ay, ay," Haru said, staring with disinterest at the school.

"Oh, Kyo-kun, Hatsuharu-san, I was wondering where you two were!" Tohru smiled, waving enthusiastically at Haru and Kyo from across the hallway.

"What happened to you?" Yuki asked, looking with utter repulsion at the un-cleanliness of his cousins.

"Kyo ran…" Haru began in a practiced tone, starting to recite the lie Kyo had made him memorize on their way to school.

"And what is it to you? How exactly is this your business?" Kyo flared up, glaring at Yuki.

"This is my business because by showing up to school tardy and unrespectable in appearance, you bring disgrace to me because we happen to be cousins, not by choice, I assure you," Yuki smirked.

"Well I don't want to be related to a damn rat, either!" Kyo snarled. "And your girly face brings disgrace to me, in case you were wondering!"

"I was hardly wondering what could possibly go on in that miniscule sized brain of yours," Yuki retorted. Haru sighed tragically, abandoning his cousins to go to class.

"Hatusharu-san!" Tohru called after him. "Yuki-kun, Kyo-kun!" Tohru's head began to spin as she looked between the three, not sure what exactly to do to make the world happy again. Yuki and Kyo continued bickering, not exactly noticing her presence.

XXXXX

Sometime near the end of the day, Haru found himself meandering down the hallway. Today had been rather uneventful, and though he did not particularly savor school, he dreaded going home alone.

As he bent over the water fountain to get a drink, he saw out of the corner of his eye three familiar figures in the distance. Haru stiffened, and as they approached, he could tell that they were definitely Hatori, Ayame, and Shigure. He sneakily snuck around a corner so that he could find out why they were there before the three could see him.

"And when you told me that he had gone missing, well, a light bulb just went up in my head and I told myself, 'he must be visiting his dear…'" Ayame explained, utilizing dramatic hand gestures that served absolutely no purpose.

"Aya, Aya, Aya, I feel you have embarrassed Kyo enough already, and he's not even here!" Shigure chuckled.

"Oh, dear me," Ayame sighed, making an odd gasping face. Hatori just shook his head exasperatedly.

'They're coming for Kyo!' Haru though to himself. 'No, they can't hurt him, I won't let them!'

Thus, a devious and cunning plot formed in Black Haru's young and frightening mind.

XXXXX

Haru raced through the hallways, exasperated, when, alas, he spotted one of the two people he wanted to see most.

"Tohru!" Haru called. (AHA! I threw you a curveball there, didn't I? Admit it!)

"Oh, Hatsuharu-san, how are…" Tohru began her pleasantries, but Haru did not have time for this. Black Haru does not make time for pleasantries.

"Give me your uniform!" Haru demanded, tugging on the sleeve of her uniform shirt.

"Eh?" Tohru asked, confused.

"ARE YOU AN IDIOT? I NEED YOUR UNIFORM!" Haru yelled, dragging her off to the bathroom.

"Oh… okay," Tohru smiled, nodding but still more than a little confused. People in the hallway kept giving them weird looks, but Haru hardly noticed them. When he was on a mission for his kitten, nothing could stop him.

XXXXX

Haru approached Kyo at the end of the day, a small bundle in his hands.

"Hey, Har, what's that?" Kyo asked, gesturing to the concealed items in Haru's hands.

"Tada!" Haru smirked, revealing Tohru's complete school uniform and a long brown wig.

"Er…" Kyo muttered, confused. "Where'd you get all this?"

"I have connections," Haru snapped. (He had gotten the wig by threatening a random girl in the drama department.)

"Okay, so why do you have all this again? Planning to build a Tohru clone?" Kyo asked, picking up the shirt.

"Close," he told Kyo elusively. 'Perfect fit,' Haru smirked to himself.

"What's going on?" Kyo asked, setting the shirt back down in Haru's arms.

"I want you to wear this," Haru told Kyo. When Kyo just stood there staring at him, he elaborated by saying, "Now."

"But… but…" Kyo sputtered, backing down the hall.

"Remember our little promise? The one where you said you'd do whatever I want?" Haru smiled, pushing the clothes towards Kyo enticingly.

"But, that's not fair!" Kyo whined.

"Life's not fair!" Haru snapped. "You'll get over it."

"But… but…" Kyo whined, realizing he was cornered. "PERVERT!"

"You're just realizing this? Now do as I say, slave boy!" Haru cackled, taking sadistic pleasure in his control over his lover.

XXXXX

"Haru… I'm not coming out," Kyo whined from within the bathroom stall. Haru was leaning against the door, examining his nails and smirking.

"Come out, come out!" Haru called, and then giggled upon realizing the double meaning.

"Damn you, Har," Kyo grumbled. He shoved open the door with such strength that Haru was knocked onto the ground. Kyo strode over to Haru, fire spewing from his eyes, hands on hips, and straddled his lover.

'The skirt's even shorter on Kyo than it is on Tohru…' Haru noted dreamily, staring at Kyo's long legs.

"Kyo, I can see your panties!" Haru sniggered, looking up the short blue skirt.

"Shut up!" Kyo whined, quickly snapping his knees together. A bright blush crawled across his cheeks.

"Aw, you look just like a little school-girl virgin!" Haru smiled, sliding out from under Kyo and sitting up against the wall. "My, my, how looks can be deceiving."

Kyo narrowed his eyes, and then spun around to look critically in the mirror.

"Do you really think I look anything like Tohru?" Kyo asked, twisting a long brown strand of his wig around one of his fingers.

"Sure, why not? You're wearing the uniform, you have the hair," Haru said, circling Kyo like a hawk, stalking its prey. "The only thing is, Tohru doesn't have this ass." Haru slapped Kyo on the butt, and Kyo quickly spun around, clutching his ass.

"Don't do that!" he hissed.

"Why not?" Haru asked, moving into Kyo and wrapping his arms around Kyo's slender, feminine waist.

"Because…" Kyo whispered, blushing and averting his eyes. He wanted Haru so bad… but then he found his voice. "Because it's weird. It's like… you're hitting on Tohru."

"Do you think I could honestly ever fall for that fucking little spotless ray of virginal sunshine? Hardly," Haru scoffed. "She's better suited for a nun. Or a lesbian."

"I resent that," Kyo said, glaring at Haru. "I do like her, no matter how annoying she may be."

"You only like her because she cooks and cleans for you," Haru smirked, pressing more into Kyo.

"Haru… this is too weird…" Kyo protested, though his voice was filled with more longing than conviction.

"Fine," Haru sighed begrudgingly, letting go of Kyo snappishly. He had more important things to do, anyway. "Let's go."

"Where are we going?" Kyo asked, panicked, as Haru dragged him along by the wrist.

"Nowhere important… the supply room, the gym, the principal's office…" Haru smiled happily, imagining the exciting sexual extravaganzas that could potentially occur in the aforementioned locations.

"HAR-!" Kyo began to yell, when suddenly he stopped dead in his tracks. Just ahead, he could see a man with blonde hair, a feminine figure, and a purple coat. (Was it Tohma? NOOOO!)

"Haru, it's Ayame, and Shigure, and Hatori!" Kyo whispered nervously, frantically looking for a hallway to dart down.

"Oh… oh no!" Haru screamed over-dramatically, waving his hands in front of him.

"I know Ayame and Shigure can be really, really stupid sometimes, but not that…" Kyo began to say, but cut himself off. "Well, Hatori's not stupid!"

"This is turning out to be quite a predicament," Haru agreed.

"Haru! Tohru!" Shigure greeted upon seeing them.

"Hello, sensei," Haru greeted. Kyo just shuffled nervously in his skirt.

"My, Tohru, you've seem to shot up in just a few days!" Ayame gasped excitedly.

"Nng… yu-huh," Kyo giggled in a frighteningly high pitch voice.

"You haven't happened to see Kyo around anywhere, have you, Haru?" Shigure asked, tapping his chin impatiently.

"No, not at all!" Haru smiled.

"Nyu-huh," Kyo giggled.

"What a shame," Ayame sighed. "Ah, well, we shall be departing!" With a flourish, Ayame and Shigure departed. Hatori just walked slowly behind them, sighing.

Suddenly, a light bulb went off in Kyo's head.

"You were looking out for me, weren't you!" Kyo squealed, his girly voice still present.

"Yeah, well… shut up!" Haru snapped, turning around annoyed.

Kyo quickly followed him and grabbed onto his hand. "Thank you," he smiled. Haru didn't say anything, but he laced his fingers through Kyo's. "And here I was thinking you were being really creepy!"

"And if I was?" Haru said, glaring at Kyo.

"Sorry," Kyo mumbled. "Hey, I want to get out of this uniform! The panties are really riding up on me."

Haru let go of Kyo's hand and stared at him carefully. Finally, he decided, "You should take the wig off. You look terrible with brown hair. But keep the uniform on – I like to look at your sexy little butt in that skirt."

"You know what…!" Kyo yelled, but Haru was already walking away. "W-wait! Haru!" Kyo screamed, tearing the wig off as he raced down the hall.

XXXXX

"Oh, good afternoon, Hatori-san, Ayame-san, Shigure-san," Tohru smiled politely as she walked home from school in her gym uniform.

"Hello, T…" Hatori began to reply.

"GAH! WHO IS THAT! THAT IS SOO NOT TOHRU! I JUST SAW TOHRU AND SHE DEFINITELY DID NOT LOOK LIKE THAT!" Ayame screamed.

"It's an imposter!" Shigure concurred, pointing accusingly at Tohru. Tohru just stared at them wide-eyed, utterly confused.

"Run, Aya!" Shigure screamed, grabbing Ayame and running away as fast as he could.

Hatori and Tohru stared at the two fleeing men for a little while in silence, then Hatori turned to Tohru and replied, "I am terribly sorry for the confusion." He walked away, shaking his head dejectedly.

'Do they always have to be such idiots?' Hatori thought to himself. 'Why do I still associate with them?'

XXXXX

"Haru," Kyo moaned, pressed against a locker. Haru ran a hand up Kyo's thigh and under the cotton panties Haru had confiscated from Tohru.

"I told you that you would like it," Haru grinned, licking Kyo's collarbone.

"Shut up," Kyo snapped, tightening his grip on Haru's shoulders and pushing his legs higher up Haru's waist.

Haru smirked and wrapped one arm around Kyo's waist, slamming into him and locking their lips together.

Maybe he and Kyo would never be accepted as a couple by the majority of the Sohma family, but who the fuck cared? Not Black Haru, that's for sure.

XXXXX

A/N: Gah! That's the end of Chapter 7. (wipes off sweat… nehe just joshing) Anyway, thanks for reading. Please leave a review, I lurve constructive criticism! Okay, so I also like compliments, but who doesn't? Gosh. (sniff)


	8. Last Love

EXTREME A/N: Hello dedicated fans! (cricket noises) I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while, if a while is eleven months, but I have been extremely busy. HAHA what a lie. I actually have been pursuing other endeavors, such as school and cake baking. If anyone would like a cake to compensate for the wait, then please request one. It might arrive in about eight years, if you're lucky. Speaking of the number eight, welcome to chapter eight of Be My Valentine. I don't know if you've noticed, but I decided to name all the old chapters. They're very witty names, so you should probably check them out and have a chuckle, because that'll be your last laugh for a while. HAHA no seriously. This story is about to take a dramatic turn. I plan to include parodies on the chapters, because I have trouble sticking to pure teen angst, so please keep reading! Also, if you requested one of the extra-special lemon things and haven't received it, it's not because I hate you, but because my computer died and I haven't been able to retrieve the files. So, I don't have the lemons, either. Boo. Anyway, as usual, I don't own Fruits Basket. Does anybody read this part, anyway? Jesus. Oh, by the way, I have recently suffered the loss of a beta (sob). She was good. So please take pity on me and read my story with a less judgmental eye. 0o (the small one is the lesser judgmental one).

CHAPTER 8 – Last Love

Kyo's heart raced through him. Today was the day for drastic decisions. It was also the day of a family trip to the onsen. Kyo hated to be cliché, but could find no better time to approach the situation. He found himself staring off into space, trying his best to plan the day and maintain control on the life that was slipping through his hands like water.

"Kyo, if you're planning on doing anything dirty with Haru-kun, could you please let me know so I can find myself in another room?" Shigure simpered, shuffling behind Kyo towards the doors to the inn.

"Hey!" Kyo hissed angrily, snapped out of his trance.

"He's just saying that because he wants to watch," a cool voice whispered behind Kyo. The cat glanced over his shoulder and caught a glimpse of a black and white mop of hair. His back stiffened.

"Hey, Har," Kyo said unevenly. He knew his smile was obviously forced, but he was no actor. Who was he kidding?

"Uwah… this place is beautiful!" Tohru gasped in admiration.

"Haven't you been here before, Miss Honda?" Yuki asked, knowing full well what the answer would be.

"Well, of course, but it's just… _amazing_! Thank you so much for this, I really don't deserve this!" Tohru sang.

"I'm going to put my stuff away…" Kyo said distractedly, wandering off towards the inn.

"And people think _I'm _absentminded," Haru commented, staring after his beloved.

Kyo paced the smooth tatami mats of the room. He couldn't think in the stifling atmosphere. Everything reminded Kyo so much of _him_. It hurt everywhere. He began to appreciate the expression 'heartache'.

"Damn it!" Kyo cursed out loud. He opened the window and ran into the garden, losing himself further and further into the seemingly endless expanse of trees, flowers, and grass.

Kyo threw himself under the largest cherry blossom tree in the garden. The Sohma garden was beautiful, but fragile; the tree was a metaphor for Kyo and Haru's love – unreliable and subject to hardship, but beautiful and pure.

It was April. Two months since the Sohma family discovered that Kyo and Haru were an item. As Kyo sat under the tree, lazily staring at the sun as it tore through the petals, he mentally calculated how long he had been with Haru. Tomorrow would make it five months.

'If only Haru was as unbreakable as he seems,' Kyo thought sullenly to himself. He closed his eyes, allowing the warmth of the sun to blanket him. Springtime comforted Kyo, like a mother's familiar embrace, and he quickly drifted off to sleep, purring in the flimsy shade of the garden.

It seemed as if Kyo had only been asleep for seconds when he heard the familiar cooing of "Kyo… Kyo…"

"I'm sleeping, Har," Kyo mumbled.

"But I'm bored…" Haru grumbled.

"Go to bed," Kyo said, turning away from Haru. Kyo was surprised to hear no retort, and relaxed into the soft grass again, ready to fall asleep again, when he felt the presence of someone sitting down next to him. His shoulders tingled as he felt Haru fold his arms on top of them, resting his soft face in Kyo's neck.

"'Night," Haru mumbled against the knots in Kyo's spine. Kyo couldn't breathe. His heart literally stopped. If his body was aching before, he was now in anguish. His heart wasn't breaking; it was broken. Kyo wished he could spend eternity with Haru, sleeping in the warm sun underneath the gentle cherry blossoms.

However, cherry blossoms did not have forever, and neither did Kyo.

XXXXX

Kyo had successfully managed to avoid Haru after they fell asleep outside. Even when Haru suggested that they go to the onsen together, Kyo explained that he had an obligation with Yuki, and quickly ran to play no less than ten matches of Ping-Pong with the rat before dinner. However, Kyo was running out of excuses, and as night drew closer, he knew that Haru would want to spend time with Kyo.

Kyo walked down the hall, each step he took reverberating in the old halls. He reached his room, feeling as if his heart would burst from his chest.

"Haru?" Kyo whispered tentatively. When there was no response, he quickly dove into his bed, not bothering to change.

Just then, Kyo heard the door slide open again. Kyo pretended to be asleep, when he heard Momiji squeal, "KYOOOOO! Let's go to the onsennnnn!"

When Kyo didn't respond, Momiji pressed himself close to Kyo's face and asked, "Why are you sleeping, Kyoooo?"

"Momiji, stop bothering Kyo," Haru instructed.

Momiji pouted, but quickly retired. "Okay…"

"Are you okay, Kyo?" Haru asked, obviously concerned.

"Um… no…" Kyo lied, taking this as an opportunity to avoid Haru.

"Oh, well, do you need anything?" Haru asked, his voice betraying his worry even more.

Kyo took a deep breath, then said, "No… just some sleep and I'll… I'll be fine."

The minutes passed by in silence as Kyo waited in the dark room to fall asleep. He was so stressed over Haru that even sleeping was too difficult a task.

"Have you done it yet?" an eerie voice called from the doorway.

"Go away," Kyo hissed.

"If you don't, then I will," the voice warned.

"I will! Just go away," Kyo moaned. When he heard the door shut, a new power filled through his veins. He would do this.

Kyo stood up, determined, and walked out of the room and down the hall. He tried listing the things he hated about Haru, but found the difficulty in the task to only hinder his confidence. He could hear Tohru's bubbly voice emanating from the garden and Kagura's laugh bouncing off the walls.

"Kagura…" Kyo called. "I need to talk to you."

"Oh… okay, Kyo-kun," Kagura said, startled.

"Um… I'll be in the room," Tohru said nervously, ducking away.

"Er… what is it Kyo? You're so serious," Kagura said, trying to smile.

Kyo contemplated the best way to approach this. "Would you like to take a walk with me?" he asked.

"Okay," she smiled, taking his hand. They strolled in silence for a while. Kyo didn't want to look at Kagura, and he could feel her eyes burning into his back.

"Kagura, I have something to tell you," he confessed. They were stopped outside the onsens.

"What is it, Kyo?" she asked.

"You have always been there for me," Kyo smiled. His words came out bitter on his mouth, like salt. "You care about me so much, and I see that now. I see that you're the only one who can make me happy. I…"

"Kyo?" Kagura said, urging him to continue. She had a strange expression on her face, as if she didn't know what to make of Kyo's speech.

"I love you," Kyo said. He tried to smile, but it was more of a smirk. He then leaned in and kissed Kagura. His mouth tasted like venom, and he hated exposing his cousin to it.

"Kyo, I don't know…" Kagura sighed, looking at the grass.

"If you feel the same, then please let me know tomorrow," Kyo said, and walked away. He felt the harsh grass underneath his feet that had felt like clouds only hours ago.

He reached the garden and was about to open the door when he saw Haru on the other side. Kyo had known this would happen.

"Hello, Haru," he said through the door.

"Good evening, Kyo," Haru replied stonily.

"So I guess you heard? Well, you always knew we wouldn't be around forever," Kyo said.

"Fuck you," Haru spat. "What's happened to you? You've been acting weird all day."

"You happened to me, Haru," Kyo replied. "It's a good thing I woke up and realized the mistake that I was making."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't love you," Kyo said angrily. "And I never could. I can't lie to myself anymore. We're through."

Haru gave Kyo a cold look, and then stormed away. Kyo slid open the door and walked inside, his heart burning.

'What have I done?' Kyo thought to himself.

XXXXX

A/N: Okay. Angsty Kyo is never good. Bah. If you were confused by this then just read on – I swear it makes sense… in my head. Anyway, please leave a comment! I've noticed my drama fics aren't usually as good as my comedies, so maybe if you have any tips? Or words of encouragement? Whatever. May your love lives be unlike cherry blossoms! XP


	9. Swimming Solo

A/N: Aha! SOO I promised a parody, and a parody I will provide. (Try saying _that_ ten times fast…) I really enjoy writing these because, as I write the real story, full of angst and annoying emo Kyo and etc., etc., I begin to think of all the flaws in my story and all the ways I could make fun of it. Since I wouldn't be happy to see my story appear in one of those "Stories that Suck for Numerous Reasons" communities, I decided to point out all the flaws by myself for you amazing readers. Cheers!

CHAPTER 8.5

Kyo's heart raced through him. Today was the day for drastic decisions (or so his horoscope told him). It was also the day of a family trip to the onsen.

'Damnit, I hate water!' Kyo hissed angrily to himself, staring off in the general vicinity of where he knew the supposedly relaxing death pools lurked.

"Kyo, if you're planning on doing anything dirty with Haru-kun, could you please let me know so I can find myself in another room?" Shigure simpered, shuffling behind Kyo towards the doors to the inn.

"Hey!" Kyo hissed angrily, snapped out of his trance.

"He's just saying that because he wants to watch," a cool voice whispered behind Kyo.

"Oh, you know me too well!" Ayame trilled, booming onto the scene.

"Hey, Har," Kyo said unevenly. He was suddenly reminded of Haru's sex-in-the-onsen proposition, and knew that Haru would stop at nothing to get his kitten wet.

"Uwah… this place is beautiful!" Tohru gasped in admiration.

"Haven't you been here before, Miss Honda?" Yuki asked, hovering above her as usual.

"Well, of course, but it's just… _amazing_! Thank you so much for this, I really don't deserve this!" Tohru sang.

"I'm going to put my stuff away…" Kyo said distractedly, wandering off towards the inn.

"And people think _I'm _absentminded," Haru commented, staring after his beloved.

'Well, I faced my fear of water once for him… I should be able to do it again,' Kyo rationalized. He looked to the wall, where he saw a blurry portrait of an ocean.

"Damn it!" Kyo cursed out loud. He jumped out the window and ran into the garden, further and further from any signs of water.

Kyo fell under a cherry blossom tree. It was April (LOL it's April now). The Sohma family knew of his involvement with Haru for two months, but he had been with Haru for five. Kyo knew this because he secretly kept a calendar in his room where he marked off his anniversaries.

'If only I were like Jesus and could just walk on the water,' Kyo thought sullenly to himself. He closed and eyes and quickly fell asleep, purring in the sun.

But Kyo wasn't asleep long before Haru began to coo, "Kyo… Kyo…"

"I'm sleeping, Har," Kyo mumbled.

"But I'm bored…" Haru grumbled. (It rhymes…)

"Go to bed," Kyo said, turning away from Haru. No one disturbed Kyo's cat naps.

Kyo was surprised to hear no retort, but soon felt the warmth of Haru's body pressing against him, the cow's face buried in Kyo's neck.

"'Night," Haru mumbled. Kyo couldn't breathe with Haru's weight pressing on his lungs. Kyo was sure his heart stopped. But, as always, he began to mold with his beloved, and the two soon fell asleep.

XXXXX

Kyo had successfully invented enough excuses to avoid the onsen. He even resorted to play a rousing ten matches of Ping-Pong with his favorite cousin, Yuki. Kyo had nearly killed himself with the net, when he was saved by the dinner bell.

Kyo cautiously walked to his room and, upon entering, whispered "Haru?" into the obviously empty room. Kyo was quite on edge. He dove into his bed, ignoring the pain as he landed on the wood floor, and pretended to be asleep when Momiji opened the door to the room.

"KYOOOOO! Let's go to the onsennnn!" Momiji squealed.

Kyo bit his lip to keep from smiling; though he would normally be mad at Momiji's antics, he couldn't help but find them oddly humorous at the moment. Momiji dropped to all fours and zoomed in on Kyo's face, asking, "Why are you sleeping, Kyoooo?"

"Momiji, stop bothering Kyo," Haru instructed.

Momiji pouted, "Okay…"

"Are you okay, Kyo?" Haru asked, obviously concerned.

"Um… no…" Kyo lied, giving a pitiful cough.

"Oh, well, do you need anything?" Haru asked.

"No," Kyo snapped. "Just some sleep and I'll (cough)… I'll be fine."

Kyo rolled over and tried to fall asleep, but was interrupted by an eerie voice asking, "Have you done it yet?"

Kyo didn't understand why Shigure had to be so sneaky. "Go away!" Kyo hissed.

"If you don't, then I will," Shigure warned.

Kyo had no idea what his loony uncle was talking about, but promised anyway, "I will! Just go away."

Kyo sighed, but when he heard the door, he suddenly got a plan. Like a light bulb being turned on over his head, he magically realized what he had to do. He jumped up and strode down the hall, following the sounds of Tohru's overly bubbly voice to the garden.

"Kagura…" Kyo called. "I need to talk to you."

"Oh… okay, Kyo-kun," Kagura said, startled.

"Um… I'll be in the room," Tohru said nervously, panicking. Kyo wondered why Tohru was so nervous when he hadn't even addressed her.

"Er… what is it Kyo? You're so serious," Kagura said, smiling.

"Would you like to take a walk with me?" he stalled.

"Okay," she smiled, taking his hand. Kyo despised holding Kagura's hand, but he knew that she would soon have to do a favor for him and tolerated her. They strolled in silence for a while.

"Kagura, I have something to tell you," he confessed. They were stopped outside the onsens.

"What is it, Kyo?" she asked.

"You have always been there for me," Kyo said. "You care about me so much, and…"

"Kyo?" Kagura said, urging him to continue. She had a strange expression on her face, and Kyo decided that she was staring at something on his face.

"Will you teach me how to swim?" Kyo said.

Kagura contemplated his request. Kyo didn't know that it was that much to ask for, until Kagura said, "But you have to kiss me first." Kyo tried to smile, but it was more of a smirk. He then leaned in and kissed Kagura quickly, then hastily wiped his mouth.

"Kyo, I don't know…" Kagura sighed, looking at the grass.

"What! After I kissed you and everything?" Kyo whined, his fangs bared.

"I'll teach you tomorrow, but I'm tired…" Kagura sighed.

Kyo stamped away towards the house. He reached the garden and was about to open the door when he saw Haru on the other side, as angry as his placidity allowed him to become.

"Hello, Haru," he said through the door.

"Good evening, Kyo," Haru replied stonily.

"Can you let me inside? It's kind of cold," Kyo said, glaring through the paneling.

"You kissed her," Haru said.

"Yes, Haru, yes I did," Kyo said, not in the mood for Haru's accusations. "Will you let me inside?"

"What do you mean?" Haru asked, angry.

"I'm kind of cold," Kyo repeated.

Haru gave Kyo a cold look (ha… cold), and then stormed away. Kyo slid open the door and walked inside, staring after Haru.

'What have I done?' Kyo thought to himself. Suddenly, he realized that Haru was jealous.

"You're _jealous_," Kyo sputtered.

"Yes, you kissed Kagura!" Haru yelled.

"It's because…" Kyo trailed off. He couldn't tell Haru he needed to learn how to swim. "It's because she was cold."

"That's such a lame excuse!" Haru whined. He stormed away, but before he could reach the door, Kyo called out something that made him stop. A small phrase that Haru only wanted to hear from the boy he loved.

"If you're going to get jealous, then you have to be the girl from now on."

"I am _not_ being the girl, kitty."

XXXXX

A/N: So… I enjoyed this more than the actual story. Poor Kyo… one chapter he's cheating on Haru with Kagura for God knows why, the next he's learning how to swim so he doesn't seem stupid in front of his beloved cow. All these changes will make Kyo go hormonal! Eek! Well, please continue reading, both the parodies and originals, and leave me delicious comments! Thank you…


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